Hey….peek-a-boo! How are you? Today is a special day for me. It is father’s day and I shiver just thinking about the word “father”. The father figure has a fundamental role for every person, I had a great one and I’ve met many of amazing ones.I remember a smile, when I started modeling at 15 years old. I grew up in an extremely bourgeois family where my dad would have expected to see me with a degree and then married to a super strict man. Instead, I really couldn’t see myself married at all, especially with a strict man, so I did it my way and I started working super early.I recall some brief moments of those years: my suitcase was always ready. I loved what I was doing. It was a dynamic job that my dad probably never really accepted, not even after realizing that it was something serious and I was making a lot of money! In my heart though, my passion was different: I loved writing! I remember one time he told me: “if writing is what you want to do in your life, you have to write, I’ve always seen you writing, like this you are only wasting your time!”. But when you work in the fashion you are constantly in a rush an too busy to understand that tie flies, and in a second I was 26. A lot of great satisfactions and tons of different experiences, but my heart always had a stronger beat: my dream of writing also for the others wouldn’t let me sleep at night. So I decided to stop modeling. My dad, of course, was super happy. The story tells that, when I was 28, I published my first book: “Light in the dark, the story of Clo”. The first time I held my book I felt a shiver running down my spine, I turned around, my father wasn’t there anymore, he had left for that world nobody comes back from: he died of malaria on a Monday morning, 4 months earlier. But in that moment I felt his presence and I am sure that he was right there next to me. Only those who have lost a loved one know how big is the sense of emptiness and how much is the silence that remains…a deafening silence. You know, sometimes I close my eyes and I try to think about his voice. I burst into tears because it’s hard to remember how it sounded! How isitpossible? I wonder: I spent 28 years of my life listening to it and now, after only 5 years he is gone, I can’t remember it!? It makes me so mad!  Yet, this is life… maybe it’s because inside we need to forget to be able to heal, in order to live again and be at least a little happy… writing my first book opened up many important paths for me, like the one to my city’s newspaper and the collaboration with a radio station.A part of me didn’t completely put aside the fashion world yet. My soul is split between writing and fashion and for that I started working as a seller in a showroom.I went, a little dazed, beyond the runway, looking for the best products without wearing them. In those years I’ve grown up and acquired some very important pieces of knowledge…and during the period I was back to that field, where if you don’t work at least a thousand hours a week then you’re not totally into it, I fell in love, and after a year I was pregnant.It was time for me to stop again, to think about my baby girl and that’s why I went back to writing. I wonder what my dad would have said watching me publishing a second book: “A step back”. The title was chosen exactly because I was so lucky I had the chance to stop and reflect. The impression I had is that we are going through a moment of total confusion and fear. I strongly believe every one of us should just take a step back in order to be able to take a thousand steps ahead.  The book came out three months ago and I can say I am quite satisfied.But before my book was out, my blog was: the first post was posted in October 2013 and I was finally able to combine my two biggest passions. I get asked pretty often what is the secret to make a blog a success. No secrets, I grew up in the world of fashion and I learnt how to write real articles, also swallowing some bitter pills along the way, to get some experience.I think my dad would be proud of my website and of all the people who are part of it… In my heart there’s still I dream that I know will never come true: seeing my daughter in my dad’s arms. Every one of us have a dream that will never come true… I will try my best to be a good parent, to help my daughter finding her path in the world, like my dad did with me… Happy father’s day dad, wherever you are, and thanks for all… I may no longer remember your voice, but I will never forget your clear eyes that gave me so much strength and bravery. I love you! Happy father’s day to all the fathers in the world, most of all to Ginevra’s dad.

Buon lunedì a tutti… questa per noi è una settimana molto importante: il mio compagno Nicola compie gli anni! Ginevra ed io siamo di grandi preparativi già da alcuni giorni per festeggiare papà nel modo più giusto. In genere i giorni di festa mi fanno sempre riflettere molto; ovviamente tutti in modo diverso, ma il 17 novembre l’amore della mia vita compie un anno in più ed io non posso fare a meno di pensare a tutti gli anni passati ad aspettarlo. Già, l’ho conosciuto solo tre anni fa. Sono sempre stata una persona molto romantica, da giovane addirittura fin troppo sensibile e sognavo il classico principe azzurro.Ma ogni volta che pensavo di averlo trovato, ad un passo dal castello cadevamo da cavallo!

Poi un giorno è arrivato lui… Lui che era molto lontano dal mio ideale di principe, lui che ha iniziato a corteggiarmi ed io che  non l’avevo preso in considerazione più di tanto … poi è accaduto qualcosa: uno sguardo più profondo, un sorriso che diventa più serio, il cuore che inizia a battere come vuole lui ed io che mi sento sempre strana, euforica, come fossi perennemente ubriaca. La  realtà è che non so cosa accada realmente in ognuno di noi quando s’incontra la persona della propria vita, difficile da descrivere cosa si muova dentro, quando capisci che guardando l’altra negli occhi, è la persona che finalmente stavi cercando. Puoi chiamarlo destino, fato, coincidenza…mia madre direbbe “ momento giusto, al posto giusto!” Ma queste risposte non mi sono mai bastate e mi sono chiesta spesso cosa avesse lui in più che un altro non aveva, non ha e non avrà mai. Poi lo guardo con nostra figlia, adoro il feeling tra loro e penso ad una cosa ancora più importante:  oltre ad essere l’uomo giusto,  è anche il padre perfetto che cercavo per i miei figli.

Non so che cosa mi sia scattato dentro e forse definire la parola “amore”, anche per l’ultima delle romantiche come me, è impossibile. Ciò che vi auguro è che possiate trovare anche voi, l’amore quello vero, quello che vi fa sentire uniche, capace anche di farvi incazzare, in un modo unico, sia chiaro, altrimenti non sarebbe reale, ma che lo troviate perché altrimenti la vita non sarebbe vita…buona settimana, vi lascio una poesia dedicata proprio a lui.

Amore

…Tu mai… e poi ero io che,

lo dicevo a me.

Non sei per  me io che ero

uguale a te.

Perdermi dentro ad un

discorso tuo innamorarmi del

tuo respiro  che mi

attendeva.

Giocare con il destino e poi fare

un bambino,

sognarti la notte e

trovarmi tua oltre la sorte.